100% redneck 11 oz. White Mug
-
Scope: 0 images added, 1 images deleted, 0 words added, 5363 words deleted, Word count: 371 A mother took her 3-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, “Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you…” A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children fell to discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster. “No,” said another, “he’s just for good luck.” A third child brought theargument to a close. “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrant.” 9-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. Joey said, “Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across safely. He used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge, and all the Israelites were saved.” “Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught you?” his mother asked. “Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it!” —————————————A child came home from Sunday School and told his mother that he had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly. It took his mother a while before she realized that the hymn was really “Gladly The Cross I’d Bear.” —Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.” Bobby looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned. Post a Comment or Edit this Page
This entry was posted
on Saturday, June 9th, 2007 at 10:54 am
and is filed under Redneck Stories.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
